then you’re alive.

If your heart is full of anxieties,

then you’re alive

If your vision is alight with dreams,

then you’re alive

you must learn to be free like the gust of wind

you must learn to flow in waves like the sea

embrace each moment with open arms

Let your gaze find something new to cherish all the time

If your eyes are burdened with wonder,

then you’re alive

if your heart is full of anxieties,

then you’re alive.

My current Paramour...

I'm so overjoyed that DR. Dre is back with a latest song! Featuring my personal favorite 'EMINEM'

This number is AWESOME!!!

Check out my desktop....

IT LOOPS!!!

I know... Some kind of Craze is going on right now! but loving it 'Utter Much!!!'

JtV

i didn't plan this

♥The lesson♥

When you listen to your heart, follow your passion, and do what you love to do, it’s hard not to be outstanding. You’re almost guaranteed to succeed...

The roadblocks you encounter on the way to reaching your destination are actually gifts. Treat them as challenges that you were meant to experience and learn from. They are like small tests that the universe presents us with, as if asking: “How bad do you really want this? Have you given up yet?”

When you are clear about wanting something, take action towards its attainment, and persist until you reach it, the universe will conspire to make it a reality. Your energy and determination will move people, and they will find ways to help you.

Insecurities and negative self-talk derived from fear achieves nothing, except to convince us that we are failures and losers. These are lies that only appear real in our imagination.

We are all naturally gifted at certain disciplines. You’ll know when you find it, because you can quickly grasp new concepts, you find it enjoyable, and doing it comes easy to you; almost like breathing.

Don't stop trying...

Oh Gosh, I totally miss writing, Its been what? few months already I haven't logged in here. what got me started now again? Well... I was practically doing nothing, so I decided to open up my blog and read through all of my past post's. Then suddenly while strolling on each piece and reading them, the cloud pop out floating above my head and states "Wow! my inceptions were true enough a dreary life which I lead the past a year or two."

Then I look around me, thinking, and thinking, and thinking over and over again. This world has many beautiful surrounding as we watch, is just that we don't open our eyes wide enough to actually see it OR beautiful is just not enough. of course it is also filled with misery around us where we ought to run away from. But then again situations like this we tend to block it from our life and pretend that nothing had ever happened, so we continue with our lives? But wouldn't that be cheating ourselves? or come hunting back someday? *Paused*

Being Beautiful and tribulations are indeed two separate elements as we all know and is a must occur in every lives. This reminded me of someone who made a statement of a certain individual couple of days back. She said "omg, she's so pretty, she has the height, the body,and look her face is glowing and happy always, I bet she has a perfect life!". Well I'm not gonna lie that she is Miss Perfect but in the OUTSIDE, you know nothing about her, how could you judge everything by just her appearance? this is where I find many people make a mistake in contemplations one after another. True enough this individual who apparently LOOKS perfect, is no perfect life she's leading. Her true world is filled with melancholy and in great pain. I call her the 'Damsel of Distress'. After a long chat with her, such a overwhelming story I must say.

"No one's perfect", we hear this sentence all the time, seems easy to understand, and we think we understand but in reality we DON'T! we tend to be in denial state of mind. we say "No! I want to be perfect in everything I do, and lead a perfect life. I want what I want!". Perfection out of ten maybe four or five is accomplished depending on your effort or where you take things to next level. read this 'how much effort you give don't count because it did not prevailed, back to zero'. Don't stop that hard-work, keep on trying even theres no results after a hundred try, never to give up. Because that hundred try is actually an important knowledge you will need for the next hundred and one try, trust me, it will pay off!

Well mine did now!

^JtV^

I have Forgotten you

My eyes are raining and even my arid dreams have become soaked

My eyes are raining while my sleep cries in the corners of my eyelids

My eyes are raining tears fall and my heart aches

My eyes are raining as the season of dark clouds and separation approaches

I have started to become friends with dark and empty nights

Lost in these paths, nothing belongs to me anymore

I don't how I endure each passing moment

I keep telling myself over and over again

I have forgotten you oh

Then why have your memories

Made me cry, oh. Made me cry

I can hear the words written in my memories of you

Passed moments ask why we parted ways like this, Oh Lord

Lord, this distance I've got. God, it's only your decision,

God, it has happened, that you had written..

I have started to become friends with dark and empty nights

Lost in these paths, nothing belongs to me anymore

I don't how I endure each moment

I keep telling myself over and over again

I have forgotten you, oh

Then why have your memories

made me cry, oh. made me cry

My eyes are raining and even my arid dreams have become soaked

My eyes are raining as the season of dark clouds and separation approaches

For two moments I was attached to you

Then the path was turned such

I started to lose you It felt like I was losing something mine from me

Now you must pray for me Only you can free me from all this pain

Being yours, if I am no longer yours, I say this to myself

I have forgotten you, oh.

Then why have your memories

made me cry, oh. made me cry

Anjaana Anjaani - Tujhe Bhula Diya

~JtV~

Confused?

What am I confused with?

I'm always confused with everything thats around me all the time. I'm in total shocked as well as confused again about the repetition in my life. the same shit i go through every single day. The same daily chores. The same work. The same walkabout's. The same people I meet. The same 'loneliness' i feel everyday. Theres not one thing that is different! why isn't there any changes and progress in me and in my life? maybe I'm responsible for that, it's my own action i guess. maybe i don't make any sort of effort in changing. Or maybe is a test and all this is just for a while, its parts and particles of life just like everybody said. But to think of it, I have a steady life and an independent woman especially from where I come from...

Maybe It's not enough. I'm still confused!

^JtV^

Mental Feng Shui

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.


THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.


FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.


SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.


SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.


NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.


TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.


TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.


THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'


FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.


FIFTEEN. Say 'God bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.


SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.


SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.


EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.


NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.


TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.


TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

^JtV^

MISSING! My Sea Lion!

Gosh, where did it go, my little sea lion, forever resting on my table, and now its absence is making me in total restless.

ANYONE!!! IF U EVER FIND HER PLEASE RETURN TO IT'S RIGHTFUL AND LOVING OWNER (ME) ASAP .

I miss you my little sea lion :(

^JtV^

Syiokkk Makan @ Office - Nasi Kukus Ayam Berempah

Shiok betul makan tengahari ini kat office. Iaaaa!!! 'Nasi Kukus Ayam berempah' dengan kuah kari Ayam yang amat enak, Timun segar dan sambal cili cuka yang sememangnya masakan Melayu kegemaran saya. Terima kasih kepada Ibu Diana yang memasak hidangan yang istimewa ini. Maklumlah, Kamera tidak boleh diasingkan daripada saya, terus menangkap gambar yang boleh mengeliurkan anda semua. Soooo enjoy! Yum.. yum...

Oooohh Kuah kari ada Hati ayam juga! *Sedapnyerr*

^JtV^

Dare To Fail

Anguish circulated me. But to my surprise, I was actually really happy that it is over, felt the burden is totally dispersed. But the same time my name is tarnished for no apparent reason, what did i do? I'm pretty sure that whatever move i make is never meant to hurt anyone. sometimes i do think, isit me being so naive all the time could be the best advantage for someone else? I'm sure thats the main reason. the other is that, I put both foot in right away, which is a super wrong move. I should have just put one foot in first to test, learn, then take the next maneuver.

I'm not only gonna talk about myself, but this very post is dedicated to all who had or going through the same situation of being a scapegoat, and got used all the time for being nice. This topic goes well within relationships. doesn't matter for couples, friends or family.

Three words "DARE TO FAIL". To have loved and failed is better than never to have loved at all.

point to be noted :-

A Man and woman are two separate and different human beings! If we expect our spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend to think and feel like us, to be the same as us, from day one we would be heading for the "rocks" in our relationship.

Be strong and positive even u were to let down and mocked every time! If you are not, it will be the most stupidest step you will ever make, regrets will come dwelling all over you, it will eat you alive and foremost the feeling and deleterious thoughts in you of the other party is having a blast leaving you in total misery. AND YOU DONT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN DONT YA?!

There is so much to learn from a failed love affair then from a successful one! Just as you can learn so much from a fail venture, you too can learn a lot from a failed relationship. One day you may look back and thank God for those failed relationships. And you will realise that good times, bad times and all times pass over.

Always remember,

"Lovers have loved and will love again" - the choice is yours.

"To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have" - Ken Keyes Jr.

"Do not take life's experience too seriously. Above all, do not let them hurt you for in reality they are nothing worthy but dream experiences. If circumstances are bad and you have to bear them, do not make them part of you. Play your part in life, But never forget that is only a role" - Paramahan Yogananda

Many people rush into relationships for various reasons. One reason is that they feel lonely and therefore need a partner, In fact I was one of them. But remember that loneliness can still occur even when you have a partner. There are many people who have many friends and yet they feel lonely inside. Everything comes within you. Well, if you are meant to be by yourself without a partner, It is absolutely all right. Do not force or to be forced to be in a relationship unless you find a real good reason.

One of the laws that affects one's happiness is the "Social and Moral" laws. The main culprite which affects a lot of people's happiness. Its interesting to note that this culprit is not even written at all. It's just and "unspoken law" or perception set by a particular society or community in which one live in. A good example would be marriage. Who says one must be married? who says a woman must have a baby? who says a woman must be married by such and such age? who says a man must go out and work? is there anything wrong being a house husband?

The list can go on and on. countless of social and moral laws are unwritten but they are the causes of a lot of unhappiness in many people's life. As far as I am concerned, to HELL with them! I am here to live my own life. It's our lives not theirs! And if you analyse them carefully, most of these social and moral laws don't have much fundamental basis at all! So why let them affect your happiness? life already has enough of its problems.

I hope this few tips could help a lot of people out there, who may facing the same problem that i did. A good example from the book "Dare to Fail" by Billi Lim, chapter 8. these few tips from there that got me in deep realization about relationship.

" Go fishing sometimes, if you don't get the right fish, try again, and again and again until you find the Golden fish. You rather fail a few times to get just the right one. Remember is all up to you to choose the best for you." - Jas Gill

JtV

My Miracle Mother - Happy birthday mummy!

My Miracle Mother

Mom, I look at you
and see a walking miracle.
Your unfailing love without limit,
your ability to soothe my every hurt,
the way you are on duty, unselfishly,
every hour, every day,
makes me so grateful
that I am yours, and you are mine.
With open arms and open heart,
with enduring patience and inner strength,
you gave so much for me,
sometimes at your expense.
You are my teacher,
my comforter, my encourager,
appreciating all, forgiving all.
Sometimes I took you for granted, Mom,
but I don’t now, and I never will again.
I know that everything I am today
relates to you and your loving care.
I gaze in wonder
as I watch you being you
my miracle, my mother.
By Joanna Fuchs

This poem is dedicated to my loving Mummy! Wishing you HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I Love you dearly with all my heart and soul. there not a day where i dont think of you and how gratefull am I to you, you are a miracle to me!


xoxo JtV

Edward best quote

Before you, my life was like a moonless night.

Very dark but there was stars - points of light and reason...

And then you shot across my sky like a meteor.

Suddenly everything is on fire, there was brilliancy, there was beauty.

When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon,

everything went black. Nothing had changed,

but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore.

And theres was no more reason for anything.

Amateurish Photographer - With Nature...

Taken in Usj 2 park and grandma's house at Subang Jaya.

Frozen two

Ok, I was bored and needed to get away from PEARLS for a moment. did a version number two!

Frozen

today I was running through my hardisk to dispose some unwanted files. As I was looking several pictures of myself then there is this dispirited photo of mine which i never made used of it yet. Basically this totally exalted me to create a poster based on the expression.

To be very honest, this poster reflects me plenteously. I cannot express myself through communication, I'm bad at words when comes to talking and is a problem I'm facing for a very long time now. so alternatively I write. I may be the person who cant talk for nuts (you will be surprise) but I rather jot it down, or express through my artworks and photos. Is the only way I'm confident to circulate myself, Thank God for this substitute I have, and I must make full use of it rather then just the normal stuff for this artistic gift. And yes I always lived in fear, it never scrubbed away. But every time a certain scare arises, I find a way to dismiss it by doing something i really enjoy. It will fade away but not for long, it terrorize back, and it never ends till this very day.

^JtV^

Anna's Story: About Anna

"Hey, It's me, Anna! let's see what the author, Ms. JtV has to write about the little particles of myself. It better be good or otherwise there goes your.... Ahemm, you know what I'm referring too."

JtV :

Anna is insane!!!

Anna is undoubtedly always in her daze.

She takes notice about everything she espy, and browbeats to me so I can write in my very own blog. I have no choice, with all my chocolates she held hostage with.There I said it!

Anna :Ooops, I accidently dropped One bar of Van Houtten and step on it, is all smashed! sorry... NOT!!!

JtV : Oh noo ANNA!!! but I ain't lying... is so true, you bossed to me about everything that is happening every single day, infact, some of them don't make sense at all. the best part, you ask me to write about it.

Anna : If you think some of them don't make sense, how come you're still bearing with it, and from what I have seen, you are definitely interested even thou it's dumb! Well thats the whole point, people these days often take the torpid stories and get more excited over it rather then telling the sob boring story. Common... that tele series you watch every weekend, ehh...what is it called again? oh yea... Gossip Girls, totally prosaic but people like you are drawn into that show! imagine, the slightest thing happen in your daily life, could actually be interesting, instead of just miming in yourself, tell the whole world!

JtV : Alright you have a point there as always, I don't know, I'm still dwelling in doubts about this.

Ooooppsss!!! Aite... aite... lets head to the real deal ;

Anna is obviously a girl, twenty years of age. A girl that I'm not lying at first, she is who she is, an insane mortal i have ever came across with! you can never know what she is the very next, she's that random. But I have to admit she's has such wonderful features, her face glows just like we see in all Disney princesses with a warm ruddy color of cheeks and it's free from any pigments or whatsoever. and her long wavy bewitching brunette hair so mesmerizing. Ohhhh her eyes, what dazzling big green eyes she has that can make anyone at possessed. She knows how to dress right for any occasion, and she knows to be how to be messy at times, her mood swings swarms along with her fashion. But I must say she dont have the height, but she has the legs like any girl wants.

She has the beauty with no brains. Blur most of the time and Oh my... Argues like the world is coming to an end. shes full of curiosity, is a good thing but in this case, her questions is such that it makes you gawk back at her. Apart from all that, She's a wonderful friend to be, with all that stupidity she makes people around her laugh all the time, she's full of merriment wherever she goes everyone seems to adore her. Anna makes her living through painting and yes she is an artist by profession, her forte is abstract art which she is most acclaimed from.

Here I bring you the story of Anna, A girl that seems a bitch but in reality not, tells you the bizarre journey she collides from a day, people who she meets seems ridiculous to her not knowing she's one too! And you sure to expect some randomness through her absurd story.

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Anna : Hocus - pocus..... and your Van Houtten is save and sound. Gotchaaaaa!!!

^JtV^

Feeling uptight.

Finally, today is the day, today I will know, and today is the very day that will decide for me.

The uneasiness kicked in this morning, because I finally came in a total state of mind that my B.T results are out today and gosh, I'm feeling so agitated about it. I just hope everything will be alright but for some reason, I have this bad feeling, I might find something new about myself today.

Or maybe is just an empathy...

^JtV^

Drilling Pearl

I was capturing some of our jewelry items in the photography room back in the office, then suddenly one of our worker needed to use the room to drill some pearls. I was a little reluctant for him to use the room seen's I'm the kind who's easily be distracted especially when this drill is way too earsplitting. It may look small to you but don't judge the book by it's cover babehh! wait until you hit the ON button! Booming all the way! But the way he came rushing to the room, he definite look like he's in hurry to make these pearls quick. I asked him "do you need to do this immediately?" he said "Yes, The Customer is waiting, and she needs it in a hours time". So i had no choice but to let him use the room, And I had to be in the room and listen to that crashing sound, my freaking dateline is today! Anyways I was thankful that I was done with my shots, released the camera from the tripod and wanting to run away from the room as soon as possible. Suddenly I was looking at the camera and the guy drilling the pearl back and forth...

Hell Yeah.... I went "Kachakkk... Kachaakkk... Kachaaakkk..."

Check this out!

JtV